One of the things that manic depression tends to play havoc with is insight into one’s own condition. Especially when manic. It is vital during times that you think you are approaching mania that you give yourself a chance to get a bit of insight. The best way to do this is via a combination of mood charts and friends/family or even just non-manic people.

When you are manic, it is too late. Everything seems like a brilliant idea and you feel like an unstoppable force put on the world to make XXX right (where XXX is whatever thing has popped into your head). Of course it never occurs to you that still being awake planning XXX in minute detail at 2:30 in the morning and that XXX is pretty much all you can think and talk about and that when others don’t share your enthusiasm they are slow witted idiots put deliberately in your way and that really the best thing to do is cut them out your life and hang about with the people who do see how your plan for XXX is brilliant and that oddly, you can’t seem to find anyone fitting that description and that is really fucking annoying…...etc etc etc.

That’s a bad place to be because the only way you can get back to normality from that point is through an enormous crash and maybe voluntary and involuntary committal (aka sectioning). Better to stop – or try – before that point is reached.

But it all comes back to insight into onesself. If I have a diminishing capacity for self insight which forms part of a build up to mania (which for me it does) then how can I recognise the truth about what’s going on with me?

The mood diaries help. No question. You can gauge your general direction fairly well and make an appointment with your doc or CPN to try and ‘head it off at the pass’ but what is even better than that is to look objectively at the reactions of the people you are speaking to. If they start to look cautiously at you, or are always changing the subject, take note – they’re trying to tell you something but without winding you up.

Best of all are people who know about your condition who will say, early on, ‘calm down and take a look at yourself. Something’s not right’. My wife has the phone numbers of my doctors just in case my insight has disappeared completely! Obviously this is something that should only be done with people that you trust inherently but for me, its a lifesaver.