Seasons in the sun
I always get a little nervous around this time of year. Its approaching Autumn and that means that for two of us in this house (of whom I am one) our mood begins to swing towards depression. Seasonal Affective Disorder sounds like such a quacky thing but it is well documented in individuals with manic depression. For the other person thus affected, the issue is more sleep related – less sun seems to equal less sleep for her.
So, I am never fond of this time of year. I love the summer. Not the heat. That is uncomfortable. But the sunshine, late nights and open-window-being-outside-all-dayness of it all. Its a time that I can usually not worry at all about the encroach of severe depression.
But now, already, I am aware that the nights are drawing in. The curtains stay drawn for longer in the mornings and there is already something of a chill in the air as I walk to the train station. This means I have to start being vigilant. I need to make sure that anti-depressants I take are all present and accounted for and are still doing the job. I need to have a round of blood tests to make sure that the Tegretol isn’t playing havoc with my blood cells.
In other words, its time to take stock and, not batten down the hatches exactly, but make sure the storm cellar is well equipped and that the latches on the door is well oiled. Its also time to make sure that this bad boy is still working.
The sun season is over for another year. Such is life, but its been a short, short summer this year.
- August 28th
I also have had issues in the past at the change of season.
Your post reminds me of these favourite lyrics:
October
And the trees are stripped bare
Of all they wear
Do I care?
October
And kingdoms rise
And kingdoms fall
And dreams go on, and on
Bono (U2)
I’m always relieved that autumn is on the way—-but summer is more intense, and simply hot, in California where I grew up, and even here in New Jersey. I feel a certain amount of relief at the crispness in the air and the need to wear a sweater. On the other hand, I think Charlie would be fine with more summer—-shorts and t-shirts and the ocean ever accessible.
I have bipolar 1 and at school, before I was diagnosed, I used to have this crazy high, and worse than rock bottom low. It was so unpredictable it was SCARY! I’m glad I got through it though. THANK GOD FOR THAT….....LITTERALLY!!!
I was just search through blogs and found yours. I really liked your post. This is such a funny coincidence my daughter just left the last comment here!
Small world Brenda
Nice to ‘meet’ you.
Here’s some love winging its way across the ocean to you and your family, Kev. Hang in there and keep a’blogging.
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I have only found your blog recently and have devoured it manically as I can feel my mood plummeting with the darker days. Today my light box has come out and I hope it gives some relief.
It was very interesting to see your comments on Lithium. I too was very resistant to taking it, but it has been verging on the miraculous as I seem able to neither reach the depths nor the heights since taking it.
Wishing you well. Keep blogging.